This week we learned about divorce
and remarriages. I read out of the Lauer book chapters 14 and 15. In chapter 14
it talks about the divorce trends. Although some people resort to divorce in
the midst of their problems, it is good for people to know that unhappy couples
are able to work through problems and have a happy union within 5 years. The
trends of divorce have fluctuated throughout the years. In the 1950s, the rates
were low and then in the 1960s and 70s they became higher. Laws have even
become more lenient and the “fault” divorce changed to “no-fault” in which
couples are able to be divorced without showing proof of any type of abuse or
insanity. Still, some people like to keep it traditional by establishing a
covenant marriage, founded on the Christian belief that promotes the idea that
they will only divorce for adultery or abuse. Other reasons that couples may
divorce are conflict, changed perspectives, and emotional problems.
The process of uncoupling can be
quite complex. The couple goes through stages of recognition, discussion,
action, and post dissolution. These steps entail the couple recognizing that
they have a problem, discussing it, taking action to dissolve their marriage,
and accepting the fact that it has ended. Some people are more at risk than
others for divorce. Those who have lower education and socioeconomic status are
at risk. That explains why African Americans are at a higher divorce rate than
among all other races. They suffer from low income, job instability,
discrimination, and unemployment rates. When all of these stressors add up, it
puts a stress on their marriage. On the contrary, that which buffers a marriage
from divorce include involvement in religion, social integration, and no more
and less than 5 children.
Although some people may resort to
divorce as solving their problems and having a happier life, it entails
complications, especially when children are involved in the process. However,
this does not mean that life satisfaction is impossible. It really depends on
one’s perspective. A positive perspective may entail the opportunity to see it
as an opportunity for personal growth. Most people will adapt within 2-3 years.
Effects can be detrimental on a spouse. They usually experience lower physical
and mental health. That is why suicide rates are higher and also drug abuse.
These effects are most pronounced among those with children. Parents may display
chronic disorganization and have difficulty meeting demands of parenting.
Divorce may create short-term and
long-term effects on children. Children may be inflicted with emotional and
physical ailments because parents are less warm and empathic towards them. They
display lower self-esteem and succumb to eating disorders, lower competence,
higher rate for substance abuse, lower sociality, and do poor in school.
Long-term effects on children may include having negative attitudes towards
marriages and lower quality in their relationships if they do marry. They also
display lower levels of trust and altruistic love. Divorce is more difficult
for boys than for girls as observed by their outward behavior. Boys display problematic
behavior such as physical aggression, misconduct and destruction of property whereas
girls are more indirect.
Losing a child is painful for parents.
Children function better when they are in joint custody and or when their
father is involved. A father must display authoritative parenting with warmth
and affection to ensure better functioning in their child. Overall, parents
need to be aware that conflict between them effects their children and they
should seek to diminish it. Parents should avoid making negative disclosures
about the other parent because children will have more mental and physical
health problems if they do. Children also fair better when they are able to
talk about the stress and feelings that they are experiencing.
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