Teaching Children
In “Making a Love
Connection,” by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, she explains that more teens are
having sex before marriage. The reason for this is that they are not being
educated. Men complain of not becoming men. They desire direction. Music
artists voice out such as 2Pac and Blink 182 profess that they wish they had a
father around to teach them how to be a man. The cry for a stable home is
apparent in a world that has become confused. The solution is that parents and
teachers need to be involved by stating facts about to obtain an ideal family
life for themselves and their children. They must follow a sequence of steps
such as dating, education, marriage, and then children.
Cohabitation, or living with a partner before marriage is not a good idea. It
puts a mother at high risk for later divorce. Ideal child development consists
of a secure attachment with their parents in a home where they are married.
Teen pregnancy increases the likelihood of poverty 9 times. If children knew
these risks and knew this correct sequence in order to obtain an ideal family
life, they would not fall into these or among many other traps. If teens knew
the benefits of marriage, they would work to achieve it.
The pamphlet A
Parent’s Guide, developed by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
includes essential insights about teaching children, adolescents, and emerging
adults how to prepare for marriage. It is beneficial to start preparing for
marriage by getting rid of personality quirks to have a strong relationship
with one’s spouse. Living virtuously increases passion in marriage. “The boy
who has learned to control impulses to steal or strike out in anger will be
less likely later to steal a girl’s chastity, or even later, abuse his wife or
children. A girl who enjoys self-respect based upon development of a talent and
esteem for her various womanly roles will be more inclined to appreciate
spiritual truths. She will be less likely to desperately seek the attentions of
lustful boys or accept the viewpoint of those who oppose marriage and the
family.” One example of
teaching adolescents to bridle their passions is to encourage them to engage in
wholesome social experiences. It is essential that children learn virtue among
many other Christ like attributes because it will influence on who they become
as adults. Parents are the prime example of virtuous behavior and should live
it in all aspects of their lives: obeying traffic laws, living within means,
keeping the house organized, and holding regular family home evening, prayer, and
scripture study.
Preventing
Infidelity
In
Brother Scott Gardner essay called, “Affair Prevention,” he teaches about four
kinds of infidelity: Fantasy, visual, romantic, and sexual. Fantasy may include
emotional attachment to someone who may lack knowledge of it or even a book
character. Visual is when someone lusts in their eyes after someone.
Romantic includes mutual emotional attachment, and sexual includes physical
intimacy. The most similar commandment next to the 1st and greatest (to love
the Lord thy God with all might, mind, and strength) is to cleave unto one's
spouse and none else. Even though committing adultery may easily be defined as
physical intimacy, it also includes emotional. In fact, most immoral acts start
with a mere thought. Those that have, already have committed adultery in their
heart (see Matthew 5:28). It is important to be aware that infidelity can
happen to anyone. One example was given of two men who were active, worthy
priesthood holders in the church. One decided that it would be best not to ride
in a vehicle alone with the opposite sex, while the other did. Later on, one of
the men confided in his friend telling him that he had fallen in love with the
woman whom he rode in the car with. The moral of this story is that we can fall
in love with others as easily as we had with our spouse and it is better to
avoid situations that might be of suspicion. A good analogy to keep in mind is
a story of three men who desired a trucking job. One of the men drove with one
wheel off the cliff to show off his trucking agility. The next man, rode with
one of the wheels halfway off. The third man decided to drive steer clear from
the edge. Who got the job? The third one. The answer is obvious. We might ask
ourselves then, if our cargo is precious, would we drive far away from the
cliff as possible?
In
Brother William's, “Friends, Facebook, and Fidelity,” he teaches that the key
to prevent conflict and infidelity is to establish clear boundaries before
marriage. Did you know that emotional infidelity can occur over Facebook? It is
more common than you think and it is interrupting marriages. Friends may become
sources of contention and comparison. We should always keep track the amount of
time we spend on Facebook and ask ourselves if we would be discussing issues
with friends if it were not so convenient or how we would feel if our spouse
were doing it. Cleaving unto our spouse means that we strive to work out issues
with them rather than relying on family members. Relying on family may bring
about bitter feelings of jealousy when emotional support is diverted to another
source. One wise analogy to keep in mind is the fall of Babylon. Despite its
335 Ft tall, 85 Ft thick, and 56 mi circumference walls with underwater grates
set along the Euphrates River, the city was brought down in one day by Cyrus,
king of Persia. How did he do this? His army removed the grates at one point
and were welcomed into the city because the people were displeased with the
Assyrian king. The lesson we may learn from this is that unkindness may lead to
vulnerability. In the same way our marriages are susceptible to be brought down
despite how much wealth we might have. We would do better to let kindness and
love to prevail so that no one doubts our total devotion.
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