Lesson 2- Myth Busters

     We live in a world where we are constantly seeking answers to our questions. Have you ever played telephone? Well what if you needed an answer to a problem you were seeking and that was the only way you heard the message? Some "facts" get lost in translation as they are twisted and turned because they may have been misunderstood in the first place. What happens is that the last person receives the message and find it to be totally incorrect.

     Likewise, some people believe that certain ideas are legitimate, but find out later they were fooled. It's okay, it happens to all of us. Internet sites, social media, magazines, etc. are filled with information. Luckily, we have been blessed with discernment to figure out what's good, better, and best or what's plain wrong or a mean green money eating machine. There are ways to figure out where your resources are coming from and figure out if their legitimate or not. It is easy. Look down at their references. You can further discern whether their information may be correct by investigating who did the research and who the participants were. Common mishaps may occur in sampling, maturation, terminology, researcher bias, time lag, and correlation=causation. An example of a discrepancy in sampling might be when comparing children of step-families and single parents having no difference in negative effects on children rather than comparing to a traditional family household (Gardner). So, use your best judgement.

      It's good to base our knowledge on facts, including data research from scientists, or if you are religious, inspired prophets and church leaders inspired by God who speak in behalf of the human family as a whole and whose words are frequently backed up by research in the social sciences.

     Why do we need to know this? It's better to know these things ahead of time so we don't find ourselves in a sticky situation. 8 myths that are common today are:

1. Earlier ages in the U.S. consisted of extended family

     Fact: people back then died earlier

2. Opposites attract

     Fact: Marriages last longer and are happier when people 
     are similar

3. People marry because of love

     Fact:Some people marry because they are lonely, forced, 
     or other reasons

4. Having children increases satisfaction in a marriage

     Fact: Having children puts a strain financially, but does not 
     mean dissatisfaction

5. Sharing cooties is a predictor of marital satisfaction

     Fact: More important than sharing cooties is the way you 
     communicate, spend leisure, and solve problems

6. Happily married people don't have conflict

     Fact:Conflict may provide opportunities to build healthier, 
     stronger relationships

7. Half of all marriages end in divorce

     Fact: Decreasing chances of divorce include religious affiliation
      and intact family history

8. Cohabitation is a good way of increasing the likelihood of stable 
     marriage. Married people have better relationships and problem-solving skills.

Dangers of Myths: They give a false perception. For example, if someone marries because of love and finds that they do not feel those feelings throughout their marriage, they might get scared and run away (Lauer).

     Well, I hope you do not think marriage is a complicated and scary thing. I believe what President Kimball has to say in order to have a happy marriage. He explains that happiness comes by following direction. If you look for it it will be harder to find it. You cannot buy it. You can ride a bus instead of a luxurious car and still be happy. 

     

   Happy people put their spouse first above all, loving them more than themselves. They are not only there physically, but emotionally to lift each other and do not share with others their quarrels with but work them out themselves. Love ultimately grows out of spirituality which entails purity (Kimball). 

     What makes you feel loved in your relationships? Why are you happy to have a family? What have you learned in your relationships or family life? Why have these lessons/attributes helped you to become happier person? What myths can you bust?

      I am glad to learn kindness, patience, unselfishness, forgiveness. I believe these attributes have helped me to strengthen my relationships. It may have been what Heavenly Father means when he talked about the fruit of the tree being most sweet, and satisfying above all...

“Charity is the pure love of Christ. It is the love that Christ has for the children of men and that the children of men should have for one another. It is the highest, noblest, and strongest kind of love and the most joyous to the soul (see 1 Nephi 11:23).

Charity is “the pure love of Christ,” or “everlasting love” (Moroni 7:47; 8:17). The prophet Mormon taught: “Charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things” (Moroni 7:45; see also 1 Corinthians 13:4-7).” (Charity)

“21 And the angel said unto me: Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father! Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy father saw?

22 And I answered him, saying: Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things.

23 And he spake unto me, saying: Yea, and the most joyous to the soul.

24 And after he had said these words, he said unto me: Look! And I looked, and I beheld the Son of God going forth among the children of men; and I saw many fall down at his feet and worship him.

25 And it came to pass that I beheld that the rod of iron, which my father had seen, was the word of God, which led to the fountain of living waters, or to the tree of life; which waters are a representation of the love of God; and I also beheld that the tree of life was a representation of the love of God.” (The Book of Mormon)

References

Charity. Retrieved from: https://www.lds.org/topics/charity?lang=eng.

Gardner, Scott. Research Cautions. (PowerPoint slides). Retrieved from:        https://courses.byui.edu/faml160/research/research.htm

Kimball, S.W. (1975). John and Mary, Beginning Life Together. Retrieved from      https://www.lds.org/new-era/1975/06/john-and-mary-beginning-life-together?lang=eng.

Lauer, L.H. (2012). Marriage & Family: The Quest For Intimacy, 8th Ed. New York, NY: McGraw-    Hill Companies, Inc.

The Book of Mormon (1 Nephi 11: 21-25). Retrieved from: https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/1-ne/11.21-25?lang=eng#20