We live in a world where we are constantly seeking
answers to our questions. Have you ever played telephone? Well what if you
needed an answer to a problem you were seeking and that was the only way you
heard the message? Some "facts" get lost in translation as they are
twisted and turned because they may have been misunderstood in the first place.
What happens is that the last person receives the message and find it to be
totally incorrect.
Likewise, some people believe that
certain ideas are legitimate, but find out later they were fooled. It's okay,
it happens to all of us. Internet sites, social media, magazines, etc. are
filled with information. Luckily, we have been blessed with discernment to
figure out what's good, better, and best or what's plain wrong or a mean green
money eating machine. There are ways to figure out where your resources are
coming from and figure out if their legitimate or not. It is easy. Look down at
their references. You can further discern whether their information may be
correct by investigating who did the research and who the participants were.
Common mishaps may occur in sampling, maturation, terminology, researcher bias,
time lag, and correlation=causation. An example of a discrepancy in sampling
might be when comparing children of step-families and single parents having no
difference in negative effects on children rather than comparing to a
traditional family household (Gardner). So, use your best judgement.
It's good to base our knowledge
on facts, including data research from scientists, or if you are religious,
inspired prophets and church leaders inspired by God who speak in behalf of the
human family as a whole and whose words are frequently backed up by research in
the social sciences.
Why do we need to know this? It's
better to know these things ahead of time so we don't find ourselves in a
sticky situation. 8 myths that are common today are:
1. Earlier ages in the U.S. consisted of extended family
Fact: people back then died
earlier
2. Opposites attract
Fact: Marriages last longer and
are happier when people
are similar
3. People marry because of love
Fact:Some people marry because
they are lonely, forced,
or other reasons
4. Having children increases satisfaction in a
marriage
Fact: Having children puts a
strain financially, but does not
mean dissatisfaction
5. Sharing cooties is a predictor of marital
satisfaction
Fact: More important than sharing
cooties is the way you
communicate, spend leisure, and solve problems
6. Happily married people don't have conflict
Fact:Conflict may provide
opportunities to build healthier,
stronger relationships
7. Half of all marriages end in divorce
Fact: Decreasing chances of
divorce include religious affiliation
and intact family history
8. Cohabitation is a good way of increasing the
likelihood of stable
marriage. Married people have better
relationships and problem-solving skills.
Dangers of Myths: They give a false perception. For example, if someone marries
because of love and finds that they do not feel those feelings throughout their
marriage, they might get scared and run away (Lauer).
Well, I hope you do not think marriage is a complicated and
scary thing. I believe what President Kimball has to say in order to have a
happy marriage. He explains that happiness comes by following direction.
If you look for it it will be harder to find it. You cannot buy it. You can
ride a bus instead of a luxurious car and still be happy.
Happy people put their spouse first above
all, loving them more than themselves. They are not only there physically, but
emotionally to lift each other and do not share with others their quarrels with
but work them out themselves. Love ultimately grows out of spirituality which
entails purity (Kimball).
What makes you feel loved in your relationships? Why are
you happy to have a family? What have you learned in your relationships or
family life? Why have these lessons/attributes helped you to become happier
person? What myths can you bust?
I am glad to learn kindness, patience, unselfishness,
forgiveness. I believe these attributes have helped me to strengthen my
relationships. It may have been what Heavenly Father means when he talked about
the fruit of the tree being most sweet, and satisfying above all...
“Charity is the pure love of Christ. It is the love
that Christ has for the children of men and that the children of men should
have for one another. It is the highest, noblest, and strongest kind of love
and the most joyous to the soul (see 1 Nephi 11:23).
Charity is “the pure love of Christ,” or “everlasting
love” (Moroni 7:47; 8:17). The prophet
Mormon taught: “Charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is
not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil,
and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things,
believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things” (Moroni 7:45; see
also 1 Corinthians
13:4-7).” (Charity)
“21 And the angel said unto me: Behold
the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the
Eternal Father! Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy
father saw?
22 And I answered him, saying: Yea, it is
the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts
of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all
things.
23 And he spake unto me, saying: Yea, and the
most joyous to the soul.
24 And after he had said these words, he said
unto me: Look! And I looked, and I beheld the Son of God going forth
among the children of men; and I saw many fall down at his feet and worship
him.
25 And it came to pass that I beheld that the rod
of iron, which my father had seen, was the word of God,
which led to the fountain of living waters, or to the tree
of life; which waters are a representation of the love of God; and I also
beheld that the tree of life was a representation of the love of God.” (The
Book of Mormon)
References
Gardner, Scott. Research Cautions. (PowerPoint
slides). Retrieved from:
https://courses.byui.edu/faml160/research/research.htm
Kimball, S.W. (1975). John and Mary, Beginning Life
Together. Retrieved from
https://www.lds.org/new-era/1975/06/john-and-mary-beginning-life-together?lang=eng.
Lauer, L.H. (2012). Marriage & Family: The
Quest For Intimacy, 8th Ed. New York, NY: McGraw- Hill
Companies, Inc.
The Book of Mormon (1 Nephi 11: 21-25). Retrieved
from: https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/1-ne/11.21-25?lang=eng#20
